Matter of Perspective

It's Ellie's mom in for a bit....

It was one of those nights last night. You know, the ones where you are awake more than you are asleep??? It seemed that I was up with one....just hopped into bed for some rest...and little one #2 would need me. It was a tug of war match between them all last night. I figured that they would at least sleep in a little (7:30 would have been great), but what was I thinking? Reid was up at 6:15. That is really not like him. I let him go for a bit, but his whimpering became hard cries. I thought maybe he had a burp from his 4:30 feeding that was bugging him, so I went up to see what I could do. Well, I could easily see what was bothering him. He had pulled the tape off one side of his face and the NAM was just hanging there by one side. No wonder he was mad. I would be, too. So, I grabbed Brian to help me get Reid all set again. I thought maybe I could coax him back to sleep...but nope. He acted hungry. Imagine that...it had been a whole 2 hours! Time to eat, again! So, I went to get a bottle, and Reid decided to flail with all his might for some reason. It knocked the bottle out of my hand, and 6 freshly made ozs. of formula was now on my kitchen floor. I was exhausted, and the day was just starting. So, I made a new bottle, got my composure, and started all over again with trying feed him. He ate every bit. I treasure feeding time with Reid. Something about how his hands have to grasp mine while I am feeding him just melts me. He is an angel. Just about the time I got Reid changed and burped and settled in his bouncer for some play time (and maybe a little quiet time for Mom), Ellie comes bouncing down the steps. It was now 7:15....and she was ready for the day. I had barely time to catch my breath and I was being summoned to get milk and a pop tart for a hungry 3 year old. So, finally when I had some time to just relax a moment (after princess Ellie was all set, and Reid was happy), I went to check our e mail. Throughout the day, I take a peek at several blogs. I have too many that I really like, so I just take little breaks throughout the day when I am able and catch up with the families that have grown dear to me. As I took a look at one, I was taken to another blog through theirs about a family who has just lost a new baby. I can not imagine. As I sat and looked at the pictures they had taken with her knowing she had already been embraced by God's arms, I was brought to tears. I read their blog a bit and instantly thought of my two who are healthy, happy, and here with me on Earth. I was also reminded of the many blogs that I have been to of parents who are struggling to cope with a terminally ill child, or one who is not born yet, but is known to have complications already. I am also reminded of the many who are suffering pain due to some sort of emotional issue or health related issue that they or a loved one have. I am reminded of the family that I read about where the new mom of a micro preemie is struggling to do as well as she can after a double lung transplant of her own. I am reminded that my children are healthy, happy, and here with me. I woke up with a grumpy attitude and sleep deprived, but that can be fixed. Too many of the families that I read about, do not have a quick fix for their life. I am humbled and ashamed that I had such cruddy feelings this morning. I instantly picked up my two little ones and just held them. Ellie thought I had gone off the deep end, I am sure. I took a little more time to put Reid down for his morning nap. I held him a little longer, and savored that time. I was reminded this morning how lucky I really am to be awakened in the night by 2 little ones who I adore and love more than I ever could have imagined. Thank you God, for this day with my two little peanuts that try my patience at times....but make my heart smile bigger than I ever thought possible. I thank all of you who write blogs that allow me to take a peek into your lives. I feel moved by so many of your stories, and am blessed to have gotten to know many of you personally. Here's to a great day, even if the eyes are at half mast......Blessings.